It’s a Summer Monday and that means my kids and I start the day with breakfast and heading out to the park before it gets too hot. In the parking lot, I stopped to let a woman cross the street. She didn’t look at me and at first I didn’t realize it was her. But when it hit me, every note we passed, every sleep over we have, and every promise we made flashed through my mind. I realized just how much I still think about her.
As I sat watching my boys play, knowing how nearby she was, I started to wonder. I thought about her. The countless hours we spent together as kids and all the cherished friendships I have had that ended up fading away until we became strangers.
This thinking quickly turned into questions I have for her and for the others. Questions I will most likely never get to ask but I now have a strong feeling that I have to put them out into the universe. As a blogger, that means writing a blog post! So here it goes.
Dear friend who is now a stranger,
I still think about you.
Do you still think about me?
Do you wonder how my adult life has turned out?
What did you think when I reached out, trying to reconnect?
Did you consider responding?
Why did you choose not to?
Do you remember the promises we made to always be friends?
When did you decide not to be my friend?
I still think about you. Each time I’ve seen you over the last decade or so, I feel like I’ve been given one more piece to the puzzle of what your life is like now. But I really don’t know anything about you anymore, other than these random little facts that happened to cross my paths.
I still think about you. I think about how you’ll never know my kids the way we daydreamed about when we were young. They will never call you aunt, they will never learn that you are someone to trust and lean on.
I still think about you. That’s why I tried to reach out years ago when I really needed a friend. You were someone I counted on. We supported each other and shared secrets we couldn’t tell anyone else. You were my best friend. But you aren’t anymore.
I still think about you. I know a lot of friendships dissolve and people grow apart. But I always wonder if there was a moment when you made the decision not to be my friend. Did I do something wrong?
With all these questions in my head, there is also hope. I hope you are happy. I hope you feel loved and fulfilled in your life. I hope you accomplished some of the goals you had when we were kids. I hope your adult life is everything you, we, hoped it would be and more.
I hope if you ever think of me, it makes you happy to think of what close friends we once were. I hope if you ever think of me, you will consider reaching out. I’ll be here.
I still think about you,
Forever your friend